So, my girlfriend has been encouraging me to write a final post to close out this blog forever and always. .. … I don’t honestly want to say that this will be the last post that I ever write on this blog. I might need it again someday for venting, or for better and more edifying purposes. However, reading back through these posts about a year later I was definitely not in a great place when I wrote them. … Admittedly, when I wrote most of these I was hurting, angry, and hadn’t slept in two or three days, but nonetheless, I wasn’t in a good place. However, I do want to write a last post (for a while at least) and give anyone of bothers to read this an update on my life. First things first, I have a girlfriend now. She’s a pretty amazing woman who puts up with all of my problems and loves me in spite of them. Honestly, she’s a woman who looks for reasons to love me and be with me, instead of looking for reasons to walk away, and that’s a different feeling for me, but I am definitely thankful for it (p.s. she’s kind of gorgeous too, seriously, really pretty). However, lest the title fool you, she is not the reason that I am joyful. I think that my relationship with her is a wonderful thing, and it is absolutely a huge blessing in my life, but the reason for my joy is much deeper than that.
This is the thing that I’ve learned over the past year. Joy is a virtue, and like all virtues it is developed over time through a process of individual choices that lead to the formation of habits and then become dispositions. This is a slow process that takes both the right environment (for me that was my Church, a local coffee shop, my roommates, and happify.com), an intentional effort to develop the virtue, and the inherent capacity for that virtue. In all of this God has been working in my life in incredible ways since I wrote my last post. Honestly, looking back, this blog was a place for me to vent during a difficult time in my life. Not the most difficult, but still a difficult time. Actually, if you go back and look at the dates on my posts, you can track the initial development of joy in my life by the length of time between posts :P. It’s kind of sadly funny. Anyway, God had created a joyful spirit in me. I’m not going to say that I’m a perfect epitome of joy… far from it actually, but I do like to think that I am now a generally happy and joy-filled person.
It was after this development of joy that I met my girlfriend, who I am going to keep referring to as my girlfriend… you don’t get any other name for her. And after that things started happening in short order. I’ve moved, and I’m now in a graduate program looking at finishing up next year and hopefully starting a Ph.D. program sometime in the next couple of years. I’m reading… a lot… I managed to set myself up with about 45 books to read this semester, something like 10,000 pages I think… I’ll be honest, I haven’t really done the math. From time to time I feel overwhelmed. However, in those times, I turn to God because he is good, and if you take away anything from this post (you know… the three people who actually read it :P) this is what I want you to take away: 1) Joy is a virtue, it comes with time, practice, and reliance of God and 2) God is good. He is good when things are easy, and he is good when things just plain suck. He is good when you are suffering, and he makes your suffering good.
That’s the thing that I really want you to think about. God takes our worst times, whether it is a hard class, a lost job, a difficult marriage, or a dying child, whatever your worst time is, God is there with you in it, and he will make it good… if you let him. I absolutely believe that we are capable of stopping God’s good work in our lives. Of hindering him, walking away from him, and ignoring him. However, if you trust him, if you rely on him, he will make your most difficult experiences something to rejoice over. Not because everything was suddenly fixed, I’m not preaching health/wealth gospel here, but because he was so good in them, and because he made you good through them. So, remember: joy is a virtue and God is good :). And have a better day!