I am very angry at the moment. Recently my roommates and I discovered that the roommate who was responsible for paying the bills, who we all give money to for bills, hasn’t been paying those bills… at least not regularly. Furthermore he and one of the other roommates are moving out, and it’s fairly unlikely that we’re ever going to see any money from either one of them for the $500+ in back bills that need to be paid this month. Obviously this adds to the financial burdens I recently wrote about, but I’m also just mad about being lied to and stolen from.
I considered simply killing him. I’m not proud of that, and I’m not going to defend it, but I’m also not going to lie about it. Still, that wouldn’t be a right thing to do, and it wouldn’t actually solve any of the problems that he’s created. I doubt I would have, honestly, but I thought about it for a while.
Here’s the thing, and why I’ve titled this post the way I have. Trusting God means trusting people, even when they maybe don’t deserve it. I’m not trying to say that trusting God means we simply turn a blind eye to everything and assume that people won’t hurt us. People will hurt us, they will take advantage, they will lie, cheat, steal, and abuse us, and chances are that at some point we’ll do the same to someone else. This is human nature in all of it’s sinful wonder, aren’t we simply lovely. Trusting God doesn’t mean blinding ourselves to this fact any more than God could blind himself to it. God’s love covers a multitude of sins, but it does so not through blindness, but through Christ.
Instead, trusting God means that we love people. It means that we are always willing to give them the chance to prove themselves trustworthy. For example, trusting God doesn’t mean that I give my former roommate the $100+ dollars to ‘pay’ the electric bill. This would be unwise in every sense of the word. However, it does mean that if he comes back, repents, and says that he’s changed his ways, I give him the chance to show that change, rather than rejecting him outright. Perhaps this means lending him a small sum ($15-$20) to see whether he will return it. Perhaps it means letting him back into my life in some small way to see if this change is actually manifest in his life. Whatever the result, the goal is that I give him the benefit of the doubt and the chance to prove that he actually is better.
The other thing this means is that we always give people the chance to prove rumors wrong. How often do we meet someone with so many preconceptions that we don’t take the time to look at the real person. Trusting God means giving new people the benefit of the doubt, even when we’ve heard all manner of things. It means believing that perhaps that person is not the person someone else believes him/her to be.
I know that I’ve had plenty of people write me off because of some preconception created by a person who didn’t like me much, or a bad first impression created by awkward circumstances. Trusting God means that we are willing to see people for who they are, not for who we think they are, or for who we’ve been told they are, or even for who we might want them to be. Instead, focus on getting to know the actual person, that’s who God cares about, and that’s who we should care about.
So, I’m trying to deal with my roommate in love, and I’m honestly not expecting much out of him. I’ll be surprised if I see any money towards this bill in all honesty. Still, God provides, and he cares, and this too is for the good. Something I should be thankful for actually… I’m there every now and then. Not consistently yet.