Attraction

Sometimes I wonder if I’m too superficial. Yesterday I had a date with a wonderful woman. We talked for a good two and a half hours, we both seemed to thoroughly enjoy the conversation. She’s interesting, kind, and intelligent. She also seems to enjoy spending time with me. The problem? I’m not physically attracted to her at all. She’s a very pretty woman, but she’s just ‘not my type’ physically. So, no I’m sitting here wondering if I should perhaps try to pursue something with her and hope that somehow changes, even though I know that’s a bad idea and will probably end in pain.

I say that sometimes I wonder if I’m too superficial, but honestly, I don’t think I am. I don’t judge a person on their appearance, and I’m not just looking for physical attraction in a relationship. However, I am looking for physical attraction as a part of a relationship. So, I’m left with the feeling that my wondering if I’m too superficial is really just a tactic to delay an unpleasant conversation that I know I need to have. At the same time, it does bring up an honest question: are my standards of beauty too high?

Objectively, at a guess, I think that if an average woman were to rate my physical attractiveness on a scale from 1-10 I would probably be a 5 or 6. I might rate a 7 on a good day with the right woman, but probably not an ‘average woman’ (of course the use of the term ‘average woman’ here is probably ludicrous. I’m not sure that such a creature actually exists). However, I don’t think I’ve ever dated a woman that would be rated less than a 7, and I’ve dated a couple that were probably much higher. So, I have to wonder if my standard of beauty is even remotely realistic, and if it isn’t, I have to wonder how I might be able to change that, or if it’s even possible to change it.

However, this is something I know from experience: while physical attraction isn’t the most important aspect in a relationship, it is important, and dating someone you don’t particularly enjoy looking at is a bad idea. I’ve had a number of women do that to me, and it thoroughly sucks. Ultimately, I know that I don’t want to do it to someone else.

 

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